Sunday, February 25, 2007

On listening, learning, and forging ahead...

How to start?? Saturday (the 24th) morning, a time when most kids would be 1) still sleeping, 2) hanging with friends, or 3) sitting around like a zombie trying to do the slow wake up thing. Not THIS Saturday!

A workshop was held in South Toledo that included the youth of the area, a few facilitators, Councilman Mike Craig, Sherrie from Parks & Recreation, and some dedicated residents of the area. The purpose of this workshop? To encourage the youth of the area to identify the needs of the area, make suggestions as to how to improve the area, and then learn who and how to approach in order to make progress.

While listening to the facilitators and the panel speak it became evident that the one lesson that we ALL need to learn is that nothing gets better instantly. That to be a part of progress takes time, dedication, belief, perseverance, and hope. The young people in attendance were encouraged to identify assets of the area, issues affecting the area, and needs to continue improvement to the area. This was all done by the young folks using brightly colored sticky notes and writing their own suggestions/ideas on them and placing them on a map of the area.

The ease of participation in this project was amazing. The young people didn't seem to feel pressured into writing down the 'politically correct' answer that someone in authority may be wanting to hear, but instead they put down in words what was in their hearts. They set forth ideas and concerns that we, as adults, may not see. They were willing to speak up, and the adults were more than willing to listen. It's amazing what happens when we (the all knowing adults) will take just a little time and listen to the youngsters that are our future. I believe that used to be called mutual respect. Something that has been sorely lacking under the guise of control, power and political correctness. Not to mention the fear that goes with relinquishing even a small portion of control and/or power.

While we, the all knowing adults, are quick to label, define, dispute, and negate the worth of todays' youth, WE should take a step back and realize a few very important things:
1) Things have changed. They will continue to change. It's called progress - or social evolution - whichever term you choose.
2) Because someone wears baggy clothes, has piercings, tattoos, etc. does not instantly make them bad. It quite possibly makes them young and under pressure to conform to all the ideas that the media pumps to them on a daily basis to look like the rest of their peers. This does not render these youngsters incapable of independent thought.
3) We, the all knowing adults, are SO guilty of stereotyping. Think back - we hated it when we were teenagers (no matter which generation THAT might have taken place in) and the 'old folks' would label us because of hairstyle, clothing, etc. and didn't take us seriously. Things haven't changed.
4) If we, the all knowing adults, encourage the leaders in a group (those with the instinctive leadership trait) to lead the followers in a POSITIVE direction, then those that are on the fence about their life choices will feel left out and most likely tag along on the positrain. This could happen. It really could! But it's up to US - it's up to US to encourage, teach, listen, console, inspire, repair, participate, cooperate, instigate, guide, and do away with blanket condemnation of thoughts that are 'outside the box' just because they come from a mind that is struggling with todays pressures.

Todays' youth. What a wonderful and plentiful asset we have. And WE are overlooking it.

Yes - it takes a village to raise a child - or at least that's the saying. I'm more inclined to believe it takes a child to inspire and 'raise' an adult.

There truly are Groundz4Change. Jump on the positrain, join in the effort, become a part of the solution instead of griping about the problem. I dare you!


Link

8 comments:

tiggrr2! said...

it takes an inspired child to raise an adult.... wow...

As always, rooo, you are on point.

The enthusiasm of our youth, the spirit and vitality with which they view the world is truly inspiring if we oldsters but take the time to plug in....

I've begun to firmly believe -- as I said often this week, we as adults have failed... everywhere... and when we as adults, suspend our _ass_umptions and encounter our youth with treasure and respect for the world in which they live, we too, can truly be deeply deeply inspired...

Anonymous said...

As always I am inspired by the ideas that this group wants to achieve, but in order to do so you have to break through a wall that has so far been impenetrable. Not being far removed from my teenage years, I remember the ways in which I chose to express myself and the constant yearning for adult understanding. But a teenager is not always correct and an adult has not failed in their assumptions. Some are right and some are wrong. But it is not through taking blame that a population can change. A population is inspired to change when it is led to do so through a compounding of ideas. Youth can be inspiring, but the adults have wisdom. We are adults in a sense for having that wisdom. Youth has good a ideas but so to do the elders.

Roo said...

Anon - thanks for the post.

I wasn't trying to say that the teens are always right and we (the all knowing adults) are wrong, but more that we (adults) need to remember the stress and struggles of the teen years and make a sincere attempt to understand instead of summarily dismiss a child's feelings as 'growing pains'.

No age group is always right, but we do need to maintain enough open-mindedness to allow us to listen instead of just hear.

You wrote: "Youth can be inspiring, but the adults have wisdom." Very true, but we need to keep in mind that we are here to share our wisdom, not impose it as the only way to learn/grow.

tiggrr2! said...

ANON... thank you for contributing to the conversation.

[get comfy, this became more than the 2-3 lines I thought I was gonna write]

I would respectfully submit perhaps that the wall has been impenetrable because we do the same things we've always done-- and expect to get different results. I would submit that no one has the corner on correctness or on truth. and that all truth is relative. What I saw in Roo's post was a call to be open to the possibilities of a new path...a new way of thinking.

In my experience, age is not and has never been a defining requirement for wisdom. I've known fools both old and young, and I've watched as mere toddlers delivered the most profound utterances i've ever heard.
For me---Wisdom is the universe speaking --- fully and clearly... via whatever instrument it chooses...It's a whisper on the breeze---its challenge is for me to hear, to listen...and to let it change me....

For me, correctness and assumptions rightness/wrongness are matters of ego-- Ego is the belief that we are all separate. In my bigger moments(Oh how i wish there were more of them/that they were more consistent) I have abandoned that line of thinking... through sitting and looking deeply, i can see connections to every being--sentient or stone, sinner or saint, Life giver or -- life taker-- recognizing my sameness in each of my fellow travelers challenges me to value each transaction...Not hold myself as separate from them.

If we take a page from our native brothers and sisters, === embracing the wisdom and gifts of all the diverse experessions of the universe, giving thanks, accepting the inherent nature of love, life, and spirit in each encounter, life becomes mystical, magical and full of nothing but pure potential, pure possibility. Suffering diminishes, loneliness is vanquished.

What if every adult instead of being cocky and all knowing, just said "humnh, i dunno, what do you think?" to one young person, just once a day, once a week, once a month, Even? once a lifetime? what might happen?

What if instead of knowing exactly how everything works, because its always been done that way... an adult said, "i've seen this before, and this is what happened-- what do you think we might do differently to make something better happen?

As I watch the youth around me day by day--- young ones so broken and wounded that they take another's life, in cold blood, I believe more and more that my experience of life is completely different than any young one i've met.... My "not mine" children live in an alienated nation, a world where I gotta make my mark ---before I get marked. A world where I gotta get over on someone to get ahead.... A world where someone else has what I want, and will not see my need-- because I can not show my weakness....

Is this in any way acceptable?

If we change the way we think about things, the things we think about change.... perhaps we've spent wayyyy to long being stuck in the box, when we needed to just walk around the outside of it for a minute...

To some this will sound like sollipsistic heuristic nonsensical, _un_reality-based bull$#!%- if that's what you hear, that's where you are...- and that is fine...and wonderful...for each step you take is the best step you can manage at any given point in time.

Just one question, is that where you want to stay?

blessings to all

John Spalding said...

Thanks guys. What a great post and comments. I do a lot of work with youth and I am often a buffer between youth and the adult establishment. Here are a few of the comments that really resonate with me:

"...The enthusiasm of our youth, the spirit and vitality with which they view the world is truly inspiring..."

"...a teenager is not always correct and an adult has not failed in their assumptions..."

"we need to keep in mind that we are here to share our wisdom, not impose it as the only way to learn/grow"---Amen!

"What if every adult instead of being cocky and all knowing, just said "humnh, i dunno, what do you think?" to one young person, just once a day, once a week, once a month, Even? once a lifetime? what might happen?"

a lot would happen! This world would be different! Very fucking different (pardon my french for those offended). We do not use them enough to educate, mentor, learn from/with, or create. The more connected we as a community are to them, the better off for all of us.

Do you all hang out at the diner downtown or is that up there for shits and giggles?

Good post.

john

tiggrr2! said...

John,

Thanks for your comments and being among the hope-filled.

I really believe that the only way thru our current situation with our youth is to engage them in something constructive... to practice Community Responsibility. --
It seems consistently that the leaders of our city are just clueless. I have a burning desire to see us accept our full responsibilities, not point fingers at people and say... you are an irresponsible parent.

You can't legislate responsibility. why doesn't anyone demoblican or repubocrat get that.

If we're gonna really jail those irresponsible parents-- then Carty and Amy should be first at bat... I have sadness over their difficulties and challenges around substance abuse with Amy's son, but... DUI is clearly an example of irresponsible parenting somewhere down the line.
and, when Carty and co. explain how they're not gonna just jail the black, the brown and the under-resourced, then it might be worth having a conversation about parental responsibility. Until that day, Community Responsibility is the only way to go.

As for THE SUMMIT DINER-- (best place anyplace!!)
Once upon a time, --like up until a week ago, I did not have any kind of internet connection except at work and at the Summit. When I put the banner together, I was truly at the summit 6-7 days a week. in the very early morning.

I've reconfigured my domestic arrangements and am no longer in close enuf proximity to Summit to be one of the openers. I still am there almost daily.... and enjoy the good food, good people and amazing hospitality of Hanan and Hassan and their family. I've revoked the beat me to summit and I buy, because it is now very easy to beat me there and i would go most definitely go broke.

If you want face time at summit, I still schedule by appointment.-- but, as I said, I am not close enuf, any more, to be an opener--- Sorry Stacy and Steve, but keep the rice puddin goin.... its a great wintertime treat.

Roo said...

John,

Thanks for the post and WELCOME to Groundz4Change!

This is a tough world for our young people. And, in all honesty, it's going to get tougher. Times have changed but, unfortunately, some of the mindsets of the public have not.

For being such an advanced society (allegedly) we hold onto outdated and archaic ideals that just don't work anymore. The thought of expanding those ideals and embracing the unknown is one scary place for lots of 'adults' to go.

I will freely admit that I don't understand the youngsters of today any more than my folks did or their folks did. BUT I'm willing to listen, to learn and try to adjust to this changing world. I can recall that when I was a teen I felt like I had valid ideas, valid feelings and lots of thoughts on making the world a better place. I don't think that's changed - not at all.

For the current adult generations to fear the ideas and purpose of our youngsters is real, but at the same time it's nonsensical. As in many things - we fear what we don't understand. And it's so much easier to just build a wall around our minds to protect us from progress than it is to embrace it, learn about it, learn from it and encourage it.

We are no longer a 'perfect' world where Dad goes off to work at his 9 - 5 job and mom stays home dusting, baking and preparing snacks for The Beav when the little guy arrives home from his perfect day at school. Todays world demands two incomes, and that's a tough thing in a single parent household. Hell - that's a tough thing in a 2 parent household.

Do we have abusers of the system? Sure we do. But that's not new. There have been abusers of the system for many generations. It's up to US to break that cycle.

How do we do that? Well.......how about we actually talk TO one another instead of ABOUT or AT one another? How about we realize that there IS more than one way to accomplish the same end? How about we ADMIT that we are from a different generation and take the opportunity to LEARN about the world as it is now? The list of "Hows" could go on forever.

Most of todays' problems with young and old stem from change. It's inevitable and we aren't prepared to accept that. Until people, in general, see change as an adventure instead of a stumbling block ...

It's time to think OUTSIDE the box. It's time to break the wall of stereotypes. And it's damned well time to encourage todays youth to educate US (the old farts!) about this changing world. And WE need to listen instead of hear.

KateB said...

I think we idealize our Leave it to Beaver childhoods. And I think our kids will get nostalgic too, when they are seeing theirs in retrospect. Part of the human condition.

I love what I'm reading here. Great stuff. Kids aren't always right - I find it VERY telling in how people correct younger folks who err.

We have the 'I GOTCHA!! I've been waiting for you to trip up so now....' group. (You find alot of jaded educators and law enforcement personnel in this group).

Then the, 'I know everything so you just sit and suck up this value lesson, kiddie'.

And then there is the group that says not much, but thinks about how this can be turned around into an affirmative life lesson. And that rarely involves telling the young person what the lesson is, but rather guiding them to realize it for themselves. Because they're alot more likely to listen to that lesson than alot of yipping when they're having a hard time.